Thursday, June 9, 2011

Past Part One

So, I really don't know where to begin in regards to my past. To be honest, I don't know much about my past, period. The large majority of my childhood is gappy, populated only with stories I remember being told and a few poignant memories. I couldn't even begin to put many of them in order. The vast majority of my memories are grouped by recalling either my relative size (I used to be small for my age) or which girl I liked at the time (there was almost always one specific girl). Therefore, I'll begin with three events from my pre-school days (I may or may not have attended pre-school at this time, but it was definitely prior to starting formal education, and so I will call it "pre-school.") I may have details wrong, but I will relate them as I remember them.
Round Cookie: My mom, my brother, and I were visiting our relatives in PA (Dad may have been there, but he's not in the memory). Ben and I each had gotten to eat at least one cookie. I had asked for another, and my aunt Emma (who was always just "Emma" to us), asked if I thought she should break a cookie in half for the two of us to share. My response, I'm told again and again, was "No, give Ben a ROUND cookie." At this point, the teller of the story stretches out the vowel of "round" to last at least a full second, while shaping their lips into a perfect 'o' shape—something I can only assume I did at the time. The joy of this story is that the adults saw in my childhood brain the greatest scheme of all time: if Ben got a "round" cookie, that is, an unbroken one, then I would logically get a full cookie as well. I can't be sure that was my motivation, but it seems consistent with my personality, both then and now.
Are You a Lion?: Much shorter, much cuter - my Dad tells me that I was bounding around the living room of our home roaring and in general behaving in a lion-like fashion. My Dad asked me "Are you a Lion?" My younger self apparently was quite precocious, because Dad says that without missing a beat, I replied in an exasperated tone: "No, I'm pretending to be a lion!" I'm not sure if I genuinely thought he was confused by my act or if I was insanely witty, but either way, it's an adorable story.
Dinosaur decorations: This story is actually from pre-school, because that's where it happened, at my late grandmother's preschool. I remember we were making what I'm fairly sure were Christmas ornaments shaped like dinosaurs. In fact, I think my parents still have one of them. They were made out of something that was somewhere between cookie dough and playdough, and I am 90% sure they were actually made with cookie-cutters and ribbon. I remember that I was so excited. I also remember that that was the day I discovered I had chicken-pox, and I got immediately sent home, without getting to finish my project. I was crestfallen. I think I may have known what it meant, because I seem to remember trying to hide that I was sick so I wouldn't miss out. I can only assume someone else, possibly Ben, had been sick with the Pox beforehand, and I had recognized how much I would be limited if the adults knew. This one isn't all that adorable, but keep this in mind in the event of a zombocolypse: I am not to be trusted. If you think I have been infected, you check me for bites and check daily for signs of change.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

A Restarted Blog

I periodically tell myself I'm going to start blogging again. Just today, I found a friend's blog and read through it. She had recently completed a 30 day blogging challenge. The idea is here:
1. Something you hate about yourself
2. Something you love about yourself
3. Something you have to forgive yourself for
4. Something you have to forgive someone for
5. Something you hope to do in your life
6. Something you hope to never have to do
7. Someone who has made your life worth living for
8. Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit
9. Someone you didn't want to let go, but but just drifted
10. Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn't know
11. Something people seem to compliment you the most on
12. Something you never get complimented on
13. A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough-ass days (write a letter)
14. A hero that has let you down (letter)
15. Something or someone you couldn't live without, because you've tried living without it
16. Someone or something you definitely could live without
17. A book you've read that's changed your views on something
18. Your views on gay marriage
19. What do you think of religion? or What do you think of politics?
20. Your views on drugs & alcohol
21. (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two fought an hour before. What do you do?
22. Something you wish you hadn't done in your life
23. Something you wish you HAD done in your life
24. Make a playlist to someone and explain why you chose all the songs (just titles/artists and reasons)
25. The reason you believe you're still alive today
26. Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
27. What's the best thing going for your right now?
28. What if you were pregnant, or had gotten someone pregnant, what would you do?
29. Something you hope to change about yourself and why?
30. A letter to yourself. Tell yourself everything you love about yourself.

I immediately thought this was a cool idea. I began reading her entries and realized two things. First, I didn't really know her at all, despite considering her to be a friend, and second, I have nothing to write for several of these posts. I do, however, have a plan for returning to blogging. Namely, I will attempt to communicate to the internet in one way or another what scarce little I remember of my childhood up through when I began blogging. No idea how long it will take. No idea how much detail it will have. I'll try to come up with a catchy title for it by tomorrow.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Too long

It's been too long since I've blogged.
It's been too long since I've worked out.
It's been too long...
...since I practiced guitar
...since I wrote anything for myself
...since I called a friend out of the blue.
...since I tried to improve myself in general.

I have neglected a lot lately. I'm not sure I'll do any of these things, or the others that I've let slip, as a regular habit. I want to, but I can't be sure. I went for a run today. I'm blogging now. There's just so much to do.