So, this isn't as interesting as the first two posts about my mind, and I'm not entirely sure I can call it part of my mind. However, I want to blog about it and it transitions nicely from the previous entry.
I sometimes randomly slip into these... moods. But that's not really the right word. It's a lot more than that. It affects my perceptions, both sensory and emotional. All of my senses seem heightened. Everything seems to happen faster, but also more clearly than it does otherwise. I feel the resistance of anything I touch or move much more keenly, but seem to have the same strength as I otherwise would. And things are timed strangely. I have, in the past, described it in terms of rhythm. What I do not know is whether everything is happening in time with this unheard beat or syncopated to it. Judging by how unsettling the experience is, I'm inclined to call it syncopation.
The emotional effect is sort of an enhanced form of irritation. I'm not "angry," everything just somehow manages to get under my skin a lot more than it should. And I mean everything. The sound a fan makes as its blades are spinning, the footsteps of anyone passing by, the sound and feel of my fingers on the keyboard. Typically, it's so bad that I can't do anything effectively (certainly nothing that requires rational thought) until it passes, so I just sit and wait.
Here is where it was connected with my previous post: I haven't had one of these moods for a couple years, until two days ago. Just as I was about to start writing, I slipped into this state and was nearly furious with just about everything. I had thought to post something along these lines then, but I had wanted to do the other topic for a while. Besides as I learned in my poetry class, it is never wise to write about your feelings while you're still going through them. Undoubtedly, such an irregular emotional state would have an even worse effect, particularly with its inflammatory nature.
Has anyone else ever experienced something like this?
1 comment:
That's fascinating William. And you say it's been about 2 years since your last episode? Have you ever - as this is simply a point of academic curiosity, not an insult or an indictment - considered getting it checked out to see if a potential chemical imbalance in the brain is responsible for these "moods" of yours? By the way, I had no idea you were vlogging. Now Jane can see and hear you anytime she wants - which is more often than you would likely imagine.
Salaam Alaikuum.
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