Discipline

Tonight, I had to be a hard-ass. I did not intend this at the beginning of the night, but I knew nearly an hour before it happened that it might be necessary. I have held the title of leader for over a year in one capacity or another, but this is the first time that I've had to truly rebuke someone from that position. (I did once throw someone out of my room for disrespecting my friends and guests, but that was without any real authority.) This was my first case of using authority to discipline someone. What's more, it was for attempting to circumvent or undermine my authority.

I did not like what I had to do. I have suffered such chastisements before (thankfully, no more than words were needed tonight). But I did not feel guilty. I cannot claim that it was the office I held that spoke in my stead, nor would I want to. I was speaking. The effect on me was very real. But such behavior without the authority, and I would feel the need to seek forgiveness. I feel no such need. I was in the right. Even before others confirmed to me that I was in the right, I knew.

For the longest time, I have held the view that the government has the right to do things that citizens do not. Capital punishment is, clearly, not the same thing as murder. Neither is war. But now I can understand in a way of which I had previously been ignorant the way in which these things affect the agents of government. More thoughts on this topic fill my mind, but I do not presume to write these half-formed musings into writing. In fact, I may have already said too much.