Bullying

The news reported on a kid who was bullied because she was popular, and can't shut up about the gay kids who are being bullied. What about the straight, unpopular kids? What about the boys who are bad at sports? The girls with terrible complexions? What about all those people who hate their lives not because they look good on a poster for anti-bullying, but because they don't?

I'm tired of this. I'm angry because bullying wasn't a big deal when I was bullied. I'm angry because the kids who do the bullying don't get in trouble, because they are what the schools want their students to look, think, and act like. I'm angry because children are being driven to kill themselves over what's being said and done to them. I'm angry because something that made me miserable growing up is now being used as a gay rights issue.

Bullying is wrong. It's not wrong because of the victim, it's wrong because of the bully. You can be gay or straight, smart or dumb, pretty or homely. I have seen people in every one of these groups get bullied. In every case except pretty, they were bullied about being these things.

When I was in the sixth grade, a boy who had bullied me for years pinned my arm against the desk and pushed on both sides. I thought he was going to break it. Maybe he was, and maybe he wasn't. The point was, I was scared and in physical pain. When he finally let me go, I ran to the teacher: a substitute that day, by the name of Mr. Ramses. Mr. Ramses was the coach of one of the sports teams this boy was on. When I told him what had happened, he told me to quit whining about it. Two years later, after being teased by this same boy for an entire gym class, I snapped back one threat, to the effect of "I'll rip your head off". He went to the office, and I was called in. I was nearly suspended. He said he felt threatened, despite being twice my size and, as he had pointed out many times that day alone, was far stronger than me.

Schools support bullies. They always will. They don't care about the rest of us.

Envy

In church this Sunday, a woman got up and "taught" on Proverbs 14:30. Now, those who know me know already that I have an issue with this, but that is neither my primary complaint nor the reason I decided to put "taught" between quotation marks. What I have an issue with is, in fact, not even primarily a doctrinal issue (for once). It was the sheer incompetence of a woman who showed no depth of understanding of those things about which she presumed to tell others.

The text of Proverbs 14:30, as she used it, is:

A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.

(This was from the King James Version.)

Now, first of all, she did a horrible job of talking about this verse, because she was constantly repeating herself and falling back on saying "hallelujah" at what seemed to be the points where she either lost her place or couldn't think of what to say next. It is certainly a good thing to praise God, but it felt more like she was using "hallelujah" as a place-holder than an expression of worship. But even beyond this, was when she brought up bullies.

I was bullied as a child. It has left me with a profound disgust for bullies. If I call someone a bully, I do not mean they are being less than kind, I mean I want them to die a slow, painful death, in the most humiliating manner possible, in front of everyone they hold dear. It is not a minor issue for me. And, like every child, I heard the simplistic response that "they're just jealous." And like every child who was bullied, and like most bullies, I realized the lie of this statement. The speaker made this very claim when talking about the pitfalls of envy, and even related her own experience of being picked on as a child, but admitted she didn't know what the bully in question was jealous of. Let me fill this in for you: not all bullies are jealous!

True, I had some kids pick on me for what may have been jealousy. But more often than not, it was a way to assert their dominance without any personal risk. By showing that they could put down someone, they were given popularity and with it, power. Very rarely did I offer anything of which they could be jealous. Some of them even got better grades than me. And I certainly didn't have more friends. Or try to take away their friends. I shrank! So you want to tell me that all bullies are jealous, you'd better have some really good proof. Don't simplify something that tortured someone for over a decade to one potential cause unless you are absolutely sure. And you are not absolutely sure.

Not my most meaningful post, but I needed to get that off my chest. I may have a few more depressing blogs in the future for more venting - sorry if this brings anyone down.